Privileged

 It's such a triggering word for many white people now. How dare they be called that, when they've had to scrape and claw their way to where they are now, etc, etc...

Pulled themselves up by their own proverbial bootstraps (more on that trope in another post), etc, etc. 

I had to deal with some fraud activity on my mobile account on Saturday. After calling the customer service dept, they advised I should go down to the store and see someone in person. This was not unexpected, but I had been wistfully hoping otherwise. 

Nevertheless, while I'd had things to do that day, they weren't absolutes, so I toddled my way over to the store (thankfully less than a mile away), and checked in. After being told it would be roughly 45 minutes just to start things, I said I'd be back. Since it was lunchtime-ish, I went next door to a small Bahn Mi store, and got a sandwich, crisps, and a drink, then sat outside in the sun and had lunch.

When I came back, about 35 minutes later, I had a seat and pulled up my book to read... Or I tried.

An older white man came in with a piece of paper and sat down at one of the service tables, and started huffing because no one was there to immediately help him. 

Now, to put this into perspective, at my mobile store, you come in and there's loads of lovely displays, then some chairs and semi-uncomfortable couches, and then tall service counters with tall chairs at them. How things go normally is: you come in, someone puts you on a list, and you can choose to wait in the office or come back around your appointed time - whereupon you take a seat at one of the couches or chairs until a service person calls you up.

So me and three other people are sitting on the couches, while he huffs at the one empty service table. He twiddles with the paper, shuffling it importantly, and tries to catch the eye of the two service reps who are both working with other customers, both of whom have been there being assisted since before I initially arrived. 

He huffs some more, and starts snapping the paper loudly while huffing and now grumbling, muttering under his breath. He finally looks around, realizes there people sitting at the couches behind him, and the two service reps are still diligently working to get these other two people set up on their phones (mobile setups aren't for the faint of heart - it can take up to 2 hours in the US if you don't know how to work the new phone, or the app transfer program, or you don't speak English as your native tongue).

"FUCK!", he yells out finally, and looks around again. "I have things to do today!"

"Sir," I say calmly, "I think we all have things we'd rather be doing today." 

"Well, this is my only day off. I just want to pick up my phone. They said it would be ready in an hour. It's been an hour!", he blusters loudly, fidgeting some more. 

"I have to deal with fraud on my account, sir, so if I can wait calmly for this, the you can wait calmly, too." I look directly at him as I say this and look him straight in the eye, then pointedly look down at my book reader.

"Well, I sure as hell wouldn't be calm... You can fuck off!" he says to me.

I just smile and shake my head, not even bothering to look at him at that point, "Same to you, sir." 

About 5 minutes later, the third rep comes back from her half hour lunch, and checks in with him, letting him know she'll go check on his phone set-up and be right back. 

He settles down, and says to her "I want to apologize - I was an asshole just now." She smiles and says she'll be right back. As she disappears into the back room, he turns around and apologizes to everyone for his outburst. 

A rep comes over and asks me if I have something simple he can help with. I smile "Not really, it's a fraud thing." 

He smiles nervously and looks at the woman next to me. She says "I just need to pay my bill." 

He asks if I would mind her going ahead of me, which I let him know is fine. My issue is going to make a bit, so I can wait. He smiles thankfully and helps her. 

It takes another 15-20 minutes to confirm everything is how the white guy wants his phone, and he goes to leave. He had clocked how I smiled and had let someone go ahead of me, because I recognized my issue was more complex than just paying a bill.

He shuffles off the chair and gathers his coat. He gets my attention. "I really do want to apologize for being an asshole," he says. "it's who I am, but you didn't deserve that."

As he heads out, I'm called up to be assisted. I wonder if he'd have apologized to me or the rep helping him if either of us had been anything but white-passing...