Musings and Mumbles

 Anyone who's been in a relationship with a narcissist or a manipulative person will tell you just how hard it is to get out of it. In most romantic relationships, they start subtly, to test the waters - usually to confirm whether you're interested in being there with them. As things progress, they might love bomb you while telling you all about their last ex, and how horrible they were compared to you. They'll buy you small presents, and remind you daily how lovely and wonderful you are, all while confirming and strengthening their hold on you.  After about 6 months to a year, the love-boming will start to calm down. They'll go on tirades about their exes, while staring at you for the correct response. They'll seek confirmation of their righteousness from you, as well as from others. If you question them, they'll break you down, tell you how horrible it is for you to question them when all they've ever done has been to support you, comfort you, and provide ...

 As a divorcee x2, I'm well aware of my own shortcomings. I have been repeating them over and over in my head long enough that it's old hat, really. Yet, when faced with another retelling of the most recent marriage demise, and subsequent child support drama, I am once again tossed into a self-loathing spiral.  The picture painted by others is never as pretty as you might want it, and I get that. I certainly am not kind when I do tend to speak of some of the things that happened. I'm also aware that my retelling is equally colored with frustration and anger.  However, I do try to accept my role (or lack thereof) in the situation. I was no more innocent in them than he was... I'm not shocked. Not in the least. I watched him verbally eviscerate his ex's for 19 years - calling them every name under the sun, claiming that they were ultimately responsible for everything bad about his life at that specific juncture... As though, had they been perfect, he would have had su...