Musings and Mumbles

 I've been thinking about this a lot of late the idea of what is aloneness vs what is loneliness. With the advent of 2020's first go-round of Covid, the panic, the lockdown, and the reduction of many people's lives outside the home because of it, we are finding out the long-term challenges of both of these.  I always thought I was comfortable being alone. In some ways, I definitely am. I love going to gatherings and being amongst people, but I need - no, crave - time alone for sometimes days afterward, in quiet and solitude.  As a child, I was more often with my nose in a book than asking challenging or difficult questions. I think I read because I didn't want to make my parents upset. I did love to read, but I was a people pleaser - and reading made my mother so proud.  While I had friends in school, they were very few and far between. Kids are as cruel as some of the people demanding attention right now. I learned that if I had self-depreciating humor and a quick w...

 Over the years, I've sewn about 60 or so quilts for people. It might be more, but I don't think so. They've been for birthdays, for foster kids, for family members... They've been a baby's first blanket, and a mother's cancer quilt.  With all of them, though, the overarching thought has always been to provide comfort for the receiver. When I make something, especially something that's designed to be such a close comfort for the person, I believe in setting intensions during the creation of it. I set up a stream of music or movies that make me happy.  I make the house smell good, and every piece I touch I focus positive thoughts of love, comfort, and hope into them. I don't know whether this honestly makes a difference for those who have received these blankets.  It doesn't matter, though. The fact is, the pieces I've made are unique, provide comfort, and make the individual feel special. Sometimes, that's enough. Sometimes, that's all th...

 Sometimes, you find out long after a relationship has gone south exactly how twisted the narrative has become about you. I am *not* an angel. Not in any sense of the word. However, neither did I *ever* promise to fix things that were completely out of my control. Case in point - my son's child support. In our state, it ends at age 18, whether the child continues in school or not. The child does have the option to restart it, by filling out paperwork, having the school fill out paperwork, and then being careful to fulfill the expectations of the state and the school until he graduates. When it ended, we got one final payment, which was the lump sum back child support still owed, due to the Ex not paying in January and February of 2025. And right there was the subject of the public post the Ex wrote, taking my name in vain about it.  The post stated: "Back when my child support started, {my name} was gracious enough to explicitly state she didn't want the to come after me f...