I beg your Finest Pardon

 Sometimes, you find out long after a relationship has gone south exactly how twisted the narrative has become about you.

I am *not* an angel. Not in any sense of the word. However, neither did I *ever* promise to fix things that were completely out of my control.

Case in point - my son's child support. In our state, it ends at age 18, whether the child continues in school or not. The child does have the option to restart it, by filling out paperwork, having the school fill out paperwork, and then being careful to fulfill the expectations of the state and the school until he graduates.

When it ended, we got one final payment, which was the lump sum back child support still owed, due to the Ex not paying in January and February of 2025. And right there was the subject of the public post the Ex wrote, taking my name in vain about it. 

The post stated: "Back when my child support started, {my name} was gracious enough to explicitly state she didn't want the to come after me for arrears, and instead just start the support as though it was current.

" I KNOW she requested is because the first income withholding order was for the flat support amount. Then two weeks later I got a new one from the state..." 

you get the picture.

I never said that. So, he can get my name out of his mouth. 

I'd warned him Dec 2024 that the child support would become effective as of January 1 2025, since the divorce was finally final, and he needed to be responsible for it.

I know he knew that he needed to start making payments as of January 1, because on January 14th, the child support services rep called him and spoke with him. It's on record. 

Her suggestion was that he should pay at least something, because it would help at the end of the claim, since it would reduce the overall amount he'd still owe.

His response was "Well, you'll just need to start garnishing my wages, because I can't remember to pay it each month." 

Now - the state garnishment won't kick in until you are $2400 in arrears, which is why:

1. He had an initial withholding form with the originally agreed upon child support amount - which was NOT the garnishment paperwork, it was just the statement saying that this was what had originally been determined to be owed each month, as of January 1.

2. He received an updated one once there was enough money in arrears to start the actual garnishment, which was *more* than the original agreed upon amount because...

He couldn't be bothered to set a reminder in his phone to budget an amount each month on his own, like a grown-up.

Could she have somehow lied and/or falcified his statement? Sure. She could have. Except, I lived with this man for 20 years. I definitely know his tells, and how he operates.

This is *exactly* what he'd say. See - we left him, which means that, even if it had been honestly amicable (it wasn't - I just chose not to fight about things any longer), we didn't deserve his money, time, or support any longer. 

So, yes... He might have been hurting in February because the state decided his final arrears payments needed to be settled, rather than having him keep his Oregon return. It was still owed. Period.